May 14, 2012

There should be longer periods of concentrated time that you spend together with the family. Don’t give me the “I spend quality time, not quantity time” argument. It doesn’t work with your wife and it doesn’t work with the family as a whole either! If you have vacation time, take it! This is the ideal opportunity to plan concentrated time together as a family. You might not be able to afford a week away but you can spend extended time together at home getting away on day trips here and there. Investing time together now not only pays the dividends of a lifetime of shared adventures and memories but also sets in their hearts and minds the priority of family. In spending extended time with your children as their shepherd, you get to know how they interact with others, how they respond to different circumstances and how they think about life.

Excerpted from The Shepherd Leader at Home, to be released September 30.

May 09, 2012

The principle of presence is equally important in knowing your children as it is in knowing your wife. As with your wife it starts with daily time. A good place to start is to commit the family to gather together for dinner every day. In a series of focus groups conducted with low-income program participants by the Nutrition Education Network of Washington participants said they believed that the primary benefit to eating together was strengthening the family by providing opportunities for communication and building relationships. This is a great time to find out “what’s happening” in their lives and to interact with them not only about friends and school, but also about the world. Mealtime should be a time of fun and laughter and not merely a parent’s food and “whine” time. These times of family interaction will help you better know your children and will give you a clue as to which child might need some more personal attention. You must make dinnertime a priority on your schedule. If the time of the meal needs to be a little later so that you can be there, do your best to coordinate the family’s schedule and your schedule to make it happen.

Excerpted from The Shepherd Leader at Home, to be released September 30.

Mar 12, 2012

On January 30, I had the privilege of addressing 450 pastors and leaders at the Desiring God Preconference in Minneapolis, Minnesota. What a joy to speak to a group of pastors seeking to improve the shepherding ministries in their churches. After two 50-minute sessions, there was a question and answer time (which I always enjoy). I was asked how to get one’s leadership team on board. I would encourage you to take your leaders to the Scriptures and lead them in a study of the development of the rich shepherding metaphor. If they are not convinced about this from the Scriptures then it will not happen. Of course, I believe that they will be convinced. I would encourage you to use The Shepherd Leader (shameless advertisement!) to help you work through this material and then the implementation strategy as well. My thanks to Joe Smith of the Fidelis Foundation and Sam Crabtree of Desiring God Ministries for your invitation and support.

Mar 05, 2012

One of the questions that has arisen as I have traveled and taught is “What about the large church?” In The Shepherd Leader I commended the model of Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia (pp. 133-135). More recently I’ve received a report on the shepherding approach of Redeemer PCA in New York City from staff member Bijan Mirtolooi as part of an assignment in a course I teach (Church Dynamics and Pastoral Practice). I convey this information with Bijan’s gracious permission. Redeemer has a weekly attendance in multiple services of 5400. There are 1850 members. When someone becomes a member of the church they are required to become part of a Fellowship Group. These groups meet weekly and the structure includes pastoral staff, coaches and fellowship group leaders. Bijan gave the example of one staff member (and Westminster alum) Matt Bucchieri who oversees 16 Leader Coaches who, in turn, oversee 150 Fellowship Group leaders including approximately 800 people. There are other pastoral staff members who have a similar responsibility.

How often is contact made? Bijan writes, “Pastor Buccheri is in touch with the Leader Coaches with the most frequency, contact being made them with once a month at the very least, typically by either phone or after a worship service on a Sunday. Larger group meetings for all the Fellowship Group Leaders occur twice quarterly and it is at these meetings were Pastor Buccheri has contact with the 150 Fellowship Group Leaders. That does not mean he necessarily speaks with each of them in turn. Rather, he addresses them in a public sort of way, and is available after the meeting for conversations with any who desire to speak with him, whether about personal matters or things related to their Fellowship Group.”

Remarkably, this plan meets the “comprehensiveness” element of an effective shepherding plan. The bottom line is that shepherding care can be provided if careful attention is given to developing a plan. Thanks to Bijan for the good report and may you large church guys be encouraged to get hoppin.’

Feb 27, 2012

Perhaps the most significant way of growing in mutual knowledge as husband and wife is to develop a regular time of prayer together. If you think about it, praying together combines all three of the ‘knowing factors.” First, it requires that you be “present” with one another. Second, in terms of the principle of “partnership,” praying brings your two hearts together to accomplish his will in every aspect of your lives. It is one of the most important things that you can do together. Finally, praying together requires communication at a deep level as you share concerns for one another, for your family, and for other matters. Most significantly, prayer connects you with the presence and power of the One whose loving purpose you are seeking to fulfill as a couple. The impact of praying together, therefore, will have an exponentially positive impact on your mutual knowledge.

Feb 20, 2012

From The Shepherd Leader at Home

Union speaks of oneness with another person and the experience of this union can also be described as communion. Closely related to this term is communication. How does any person grow in their understanding and knowledge of another person? It requires conversation. It requires two-way interaction. How do we grow in our relationship with the Lord? On the most fundamental level, we speak to him in prayer and he speaks to us through his Word. The only way that we will grow in our knowledge of our wives is if we regularly communicate well with one another. Communicating well is not always easy. “Wherever you find marital failure, you will find a breakdown in real communication. Wherever you find marital success, you will find a good communication system.”1 Research continues to reinforce the fact that the number one problem in marriage is communication. You might have thought that the biggest problem in marriage is conflict over money. However, the truth of the matter is that the reason couples struggle with money is that they don’t communicate with one another about these things! They experience conflicts over money. This might be the most common subject of conflict but it is merely another symptom of troubled communication.

Coming in September from Crossway
----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Wayne Mack, Strengthening Your Marriage (Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed, 1999), 56.

Feb 06, 2012

A couple of blogs back I began to share some thoughts on how we can grow in the knowledge of our wives. One of the best ways to get to know someone is to do something together with them. Marriage was designed to provide help in the tasks of life. From the very beginning, the Lord gave Adam and Eve work to do together. They were tasked not only with taking care of the garden but were given the expansive cultural mandate to fill the earth and have dominion over God’s creation.

God’s design for your marriage is that you leverage your mutual and complementary gifts and strengths in his service. You grow in your knowledge of one another when you express your partnership by working on things together. For many couples the focus of this partnership, and rightly so, is on raising children. Unfortunately, when the empty nest stage arrives, they lose the focus of their partnership. For eighteen to twenty-five years their partnership has focused on Jack and Jane. Now that Jack and Jane are out of the house their empty nester parents sit and stare at one another. This can be a time when couples drift apart; when the husband immerses himself in his work and when he gets home settles into the comfortable role of couch potato. His wife, on the other hand, goes about her business at work or at home. Is this the reason that increasing numbers of middle-aged marriages are breaking up? What do you do together with your wife now that the children are out of the house?

Of course, a very good option is to be engaged in ministry together. How many husbands and wives are busily occupied in ministry, but not together? It shouldn’t only be ministry, either. What about some projects around the house? Take up a new hobby or interest together. Practicing the principle of partnership will help you grow in your knowledge of another and will maximize the gifts of two people whom the Lord has called to serve him together.

From the upcoming book The Shepherd Leader at Home

Dec 14, 2011

Recently I received a package in the mail from my publisher. I was a little perplexed thinking that it was a new book for me to review. However, when I opened it I was pleasantly surprised to see The Shepherd Leader with a completely new cover. “What is this?” I thought. Enclosed was a note that explained that what I was holding in my hands was the first Indian edition of The Shepherd Leader published in Hyderabad, India, by Authentic books. This edition is in English but will be marketed in India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Myanmar, Oman, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Qatar, and Kuwait. How humbling it is to see the Lord using this work. Of course, every flock of Christ everywhere needs shepherds who will care for them. Please pray with me that the Lord will use The Shepherd Leader in these nations for his glory.

Nov 28, 2011

How can you grow in your mutual knowledge as a couple? It requires that we practice the principle of presence. As you think about it, a clear evidence of the Lord’s relationship with his people has been his presence among them. In the very beginning, the Lord walked in the garden with the first couple.
After the Fall, the Lord ordered the construction of the tabernacle complete with its sacrificial system so that he could be present with his sinful people, and they not be consumed. The temple represented his gracious presence among them as well. The consummate evidence of his determination to be with his people was the coming of Immanuel, God with us. It is through the incarnate Son of God that we can know the Lord. In your relationship with your wife, you must be present with her. You must spend time with her. Remember all the time that you spent with her when you were trying to win her over? What has happened since then? You must set aside dedicated time regularly to be with your wife to grow deeper in mutual knowledge. When you are there, BE THERE. When you go out to eat do you turn your cell phone off? Please do so and give the wife of your youth your full, undistracted attention.

Nov 21, 2011

As promised here are some thoughts on knowing your family.

Knowing is a shepherding function that has its roots in the mutual knowledge that at the heart of every relationship. Jesus said, “I know my sheep and they know me.” This mutual knowledge is basic to our relationship with our wives. The husband-wife relationship is designed to be the most intimate of all human relationships. In fact, it is a mysterious reflection of the union between Christ and his church.

It is no surprise that the Hebrew expression “know” is used to describe physical intimacy. However, that physical union is the icing on the cake of spiritual and emotional union. Unfortunately, many spouses experience alienation and loneliness instead of this union. How can we grow in our mutual knowledge? How well do you know your wife? In the next couple of blogs we will look at some ways to grow in mutual knowledge.

Nov 14, 2011

I am pleased to report that the manuscript for The Shepherd Leader at Home has been submitted. Crossway is planning to publish the book in September, 2012. The purpose of this book is to apply the fundamental shepherding functions of knowing, feeding, leading, and protecting to leadership in the home. It has been a joy to work on this project and in coming blogs I will give you a taste of what is to come. My prayer is that the book will encourage men to be faithful leaders of their families.

Aug 25, 2011

I recently had the opportunity consult with elders who are striving to develop a shepherding ministry though they are in the search for a new senior minister. Some might think that they should wait until the new pastor arrives. Don’t wait! This is exactly the right time to begin a shepherding ministry. In fact, there is no better time to initiate regular contact with the sheep than when members might be concerned about the continuity of care without a pastor in place. You will probably preclude some of the straying away that happens whenever a pastor leaves a church. Last summer I had the privilege of having lunch with Phil Ryken just a couple of weeks before he left Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia to become President of Wheaton College. Our conversation included Phil’s confidence that the flock at Tenth would be well-cared for in the time of pastoral transition due to the elders’ commitment to maintain regular contact with its 1200 members. So it was that member care did not miss a beat in the year between Phil’s departure and Liam Goligher’s installation. By the way, if a pastoral candidate isn’t happy that you have developed a shepherding plan before his arrival, that should raise some eyebrows. He should rejoice that he will be partnering with other shepherds in caring for the flock.

Aug 18, 2011

As you contact your sheep you will be privy to personal matters pertaining to your sheep. How much of this information should you share with your wife? There are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, concern for the sheep. Most people in your flock will assume that you pray with your wife but it is probably a good idea to ask folks if they would allow you to share requests with her. This is particularly important if there are sensitive matters involved (marital discord, problems with another congregant, struggles with temptation). When in doubt, ask the congregant. Second, concern for your wife. I have discovered that it is important to protect my wife from certain information. If there are matters that will unduly stress her, I don’t share it. If there is information that will make it difficult for her to interact with others, I don’t share it. Wives have different tolerance levels for these matters. You must also be honest with yourself to know whether or not she can keep the matter confidential. When it doubt, err on the side of confidentiality.

Aug 11, 2011

My publisher (Presbyterian and Reformed) recently informed me that the sales of The Shepherd Leader have crossed the 25,000 mark. This is very humbling and at the same time very encouraging to know that so many leaders are striving to improve the ministry of shepherding their flocks. I say thanks to our Chief Shepherd for his goodness and I am also grateful to so many of you for your words of encouragement along the way. I am also thankful to those who have invited me to come for on-site consultations. I have learned from you as we have talked together about the application of these biblical principles. Along those lines, if you have questions or examples of how you have applied shepherding principles in your flock or ministry, please send them along and I will seek to pass them along through this blog. Please write to me at tim@theshepherdleader.com

Jul 26, 2011

I recently received the following words from a former student of mine: "Comprehensive and encouraging, Dr. Witmer's The Shepherd Leader is a key resource for how we shape our youth leaders." - David Plant, Director of Youth Ministries, Redeemer Presbyterian Church of New York City. As I read this email I wanted to remind you to encourage the ministry leaders of your church to take a shepherding approach to those for whom they are responsible. If small group leaders, youth leaders, men’s, women’s and music ministry leaders, etc. all take this relational approach to ministry seriously it will only enhance the shepherding ministry of the elders of the church.

Jun 27, 2011

As I have had the privilege of teaching in several venues across the country over the past few months it has been great to meet with leaders who are trying to work out a strategy for establishing regular contact with their church members. This, of course, is a key to getting to know their sheep and care for them effectively. As I have continued this contact work in my own congregation I have had to remind myself that my caring does not end when I complete my contact. When I secure prayer requests from the flock I must remember to pray for the requests that I have just heard! Sometimes after I have worked through my list and recorded the requests I sigh a sigh of relief that I have completed my duties for this month. However, I have had to remind myself that the contact is not an end itself, it is the end of the beginning of care. Take some time after your conversations to pray for the needs you have just heard expressed. You will find that this will motivate you to follow up personally with your flock the next month and even before if that seems appropriate. Don’t forget to pray!

Mar 28, 2011

I had the privilege this past week of leading a breakout session at the first national PLANT Conference held here in southeastern Pennsylvania. The conference was co-sponsored by Sovereign Grace Ministries, 9Marks, Acts29, and the Southern Baptist Convention. There were nearly 800 planters, pastors, prospective planters, and team members in attendance. Firstly, Covenant Fellowship, the anchor church of the Sovereign Grace movement, did an outstanding job in serving all participants. Thanks! I was humbled to learn from C.J. Mahaney that he is using The Shepherd Leader as a required text in the Sovereign Grace Pastors’ College. This is such an encouragement!

Being among so many committed to church planting reminded me once again that shepherding isn’t just for established churches, it is something that must be engaged at the very beginning of your church planting effort. Having been involved in a church plant right out of seminary I learned the hard way that unless you have a structure for shepherding the first sheep that you gather, you will fall behind, they will not be cared for, and they will slip out the back door. Therefore, to my church planting friends, take this seriously at the outset and be sure the prospective elders and team members around you have a heart for the sheep. OK, I’ll say it. You need to create a culture of shepherding at the very beginning which is nothing less than a culture of pastoral care
which we must provide for those we have the joy of gathering for His glory.

Finally, I am grateful to all of you whom I had the privilege of meeting at the PLANT Conference. Thanks for your encouraging comments about the usefulness of The Shepherd Leader. May the Lord continue to bless you as you care for His sheep.

Have a great week in his service.

Mar 22, 2011

As I have reflected on feedback I have received about The Shepherd Leader, it appears that the most positive input relates to Part 2: “What’s A Shepherd to Do?” in which we examine the fundamental shepherding functions of knowing, feeding, leading, and protecting the sheep. The macro/micro distinction has also been helpful. I am not surprised inasmuch as this is one of the distinctions which has personally helped me the most. What has surprised me is how creative readers have been in applying the principles to their particular ministries. For example, Scott Thomas of the Acts29 Network and a colleague are developing a manual for coaching their church planters. They will be using the shepherding matrix presented in TSL for this purpose. Wow! What a great idea!

I was also encouraged by the positive feedback from one of the pastors at Redeemer PCA in New York City who said that he has actually laid out his job description according to the macro/micro functions of the shepherding matrix. What a great application! This has all been so very exciting to see. It has also been very humbling and I am thankful that you have found this to be useful. On this blog I intend to hang around the Shepherding Matrix for several weeks. If you would like to share how you have used the Matrix, or if you have a question, please let me know and I will pass it along.

Mar 07, 2011

Wow! How time flies! It has been one year since my last post and a lot has happened. First of all, please accept my apologies for failing to keep my optimistic plan of posting every week on this important subject. My hope is to bear fruit in keeping with my repentance and to keep my original commitment! Secondly, allow me to express my appreciation to you for the overwhelmingly positive response to The Shepherd Leader. It was distributed at MacArthur’s Shepherd’s Conference last year. It was the Westminster Bookstore’s top-seller for 2010 selling 6,000 copies in the first two days of availability) as well its publisher’s second top-seller of the year. It received many wonderful reviews and at year-end was on several 2010 “best reads of the year” including Kevin DeYoung’s list. Most gratifying of all has been the emails that have communicated to me how the book has helped the leadership teams, sessions, and boards your churches. I have also had the joy of consulting personally with several sessions, boards and presbyteries. It has also been remarkable to see how you have creatively applied the principles of The Shepherd Leader. You have also offered criticisms, suggestions and fine-tuning applications arising from your ministry contexts. Sooo, here we go! I intend to share a sample of all of the feedback to The Shepherd Leader and let’s continue to pray for a shepherd’s heart as we seek to care for his flock!

Feb 10, 2010

Welcome to the inaugural posting of The Shepherds’ Blog! The purpose of this blog is to provide an opportunity for me to interact with church leaders (and members!) about the subject of shepherding the flock. Please send your questions to me at tim@theshepherdleader.com and I will do my best to answer them. When a question raises an issue that I sense will be of interest to many I will use this blog to present some of my thoughts. I am hoping that the readers of The Shepherd Leader will send questions about the book. My goal will be to put up a new post roughly every week. Now for a couple of comments about the website. First of all my thanks to Smith Lab (fiendofdesign.com) for the design of the website. You will notice that there is link to “Shepherding Resources” where you will find downloadable resources and forms, including those mentioned in the book. You will also find a link to “The Shepherds’ Institute Consulting Services” which is a non-profit that I started in 2000 to advance the cause of shepherding in the church. The consulting services include my offer to review your shepherding plan for a fee ($50). Click on the link and it will open a form for you to fill out and also upload your plan. You can use your credit card for payment. My goal will be to return my comments within 30 days. There is also an opportunity for you to extend an invitation to me to come for an on-site consultation. I can only accept a limited number of such invitations and I will let you know if I am available to come to your church, conference, or meeting. Again, click on that link and provide the details and I will respond as soon as possible.

My prayer is that the book and the blog will help you to become more effective in shepherding your flock and that it may be said of you as it was said of David:
“And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.”
(Psalm 78:72)